Max Ride Interrogations! XD
by Potatostien
Summary: My name is Jenny. And my 2 goals in life are to find one who likes the bottoms of cupcakes and to answer ur book questions. And I do that by asking the charicters themselves. With the help of my bestest buddy Rachel -INKSPELL'D- We shall...
1. Ch1: Of Prep Decoise and Pizza Parties

Jenny- Aloha Earthlings! And welcome to this show fic thingy. Today me and me bestest buddy Rachel will be interviewing Maximum Ride characters. Answering questions that MUST BE ANSWERD!

Rachel- Now before we call in our first guest (who will be Max) lets all say hello to Mindy!!

Mindy – Hi Hi!

Jenny- Mindy is our Prep diversion. She is currently wearing an annoying pink outfit, with matching high heels, a Hello Kitty purse because she one of those Bs who are teenagers but walk around with Nick Jr. stuff that you want to deck. She's wearing lots o' makeup an' enough hair spray to take down a large chinchilla.

Rachel- We want to observe Max in her natural habitat…

Jenny- Were going to have to ask the audients to take at least 5 steps back and when Max goes into frenzy. I don't envy the audients members wearing makeup.

Max- *appears. Spots Prep. Takes down. Rachel and Jenny zap with electric cattle rods*

Rachel- Hello Max! We've brought you here to ask you a few questions then well send you back to the flock we promise! So don't hurt us!

Jenny- Oh and don't bother looking for escape routs! There is no escape!

Max- I don't trust anyone but my flock!

Rachel- Yes yes of course not. OH HENRY!

-Max gets forcibly put in to chair via Henry and chained up-

Rachel- Lets give Henry a big hand!!

Audience- YAY!

Mindy- Can someone please call an ambulance?

Rachel- No.

Jenny- Ok first question: Are you an alien?

Max- No! Next dumb question!

Jenny- *whispers* I guess they haven't told her yet.

Max- WHAT?!

Jenny- Oh nothing, nothing…

Rachel- Next question: How did you learn to walk, talk, and use the toilet in a cage?

Max- Can't remember.

Jenny- Wow! You repressed a lot in you're early years. Next time I'll do a fic about all of you going to therapy. *cough* fan fiction by INKSPELL'D in my favorite *cough*

Rachel- When you wore makeup in book 1 did you secretly love it?

Max- You're so dead!

Jenny- Touchy! Though I can't help noticing that you didn't answer… Anywho, next question. How did it feel when Jeb told you he was you're dad?

Max- Weird!

Rachel- Is Fang a good kisser?

Max- …

Jenny- …

Rachel- …

Max- Absolutly not.

Jenny- HAHAHAHAHAH-cough-hahaha-cough-hehehehahe… I thought not.

Rachel- I KNEW IT!

Jenny- What's you're favorite color?

Max- Blue.

Rachel- Blue rocks my non-existent toe socks –quote from _House of GoT_-

Jenny- I always consider you guys lucky to have wings and not, like a beak. I mean that would be like REALLY lame. Oh watch out! It's beak girl. Shell peck ya'! Wings rock!

Max- I wish my wings were blue.

Rachel- If I had blue wings everyone would be like 'I wanna party with blue wing girl' but I don't.

Jenny- That they would.

Rachel- Last question: If you suddenly woke up in a tank filled with watermelon seeds in a cement room with no windows or doors and the only other thing in the room was a cubical table and a banana what would you do?

Max- I would declare my love of Harry Potter and slap Hanna Montana.

Jenny – WRONG ANSWER! The answer was declare my love for éclairs and slap Wang Chung. Sorry.

Max-…

Rachel- *suddenly changes subject* Jeb's sooo bipolar.

Jenny- Extremely.

Rachel- I hate the environmental twist in the friggin book it SUCKS!!!

Jenny- The book was so cool. Secret byhalf plan with the experiments and fights. Now it's just like 'oh the environment! We're accepted! Now people know and we're going to save fishes in Hawaii and stop cursing!'

Rachel- SOOO ANNOYING!!!

Max- Not my fault!!

Jenny- We just wanted you to know.

Rachel- Have you ever read a Fax fic that like REALLY freaked you out?!

Max- They all freak me out.

Jenny- Good answer.

Max- Especially this one where fang and I were married. It scared me!

Rachel- They scare us _all_ Max. They scare us all.

Jenny- I hated you're speech at the end of book 4. I wanted to kill you!

Jenny- *slaps Max*

Max- OW!

*Pizza dude appears*

Random Pizza Dude- Somebody ordered a thin crusted pepperoni pizza?

Rachel- ME ME!

Jenny- WHY RACHEL?!

Rachel- Why did I order pizza?

Jenny- No! Why thin crusted pepperoni?! I like deep dish cheese!! DEEP DISH CHEESE!!! You know I do!!!

Rachel- I am sooo sorry!!!

Jenny- *sniff* its ok I'll pick off the pepperoni.

Rachel- Your a true friend!!

Max- Can I have some?!

Rachel- Absolutly not! How about some eating music?

Jenny- *snaps fingers and Cold play's Viva la Vida comes on*

Rachel- I love this song!!

Jenny- Come on Henry and Random Pizza Dude!

- Rachel, Jenny, Henry, and the random pizza dude dance rapidly to Viva la Vida while Max dances via wiggling in her chair-

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.CORN.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

**The next chapter will be more random and awesome. Fangs in it so you just know we're gonna be abusing him at every turn. Send Fang questions. We'll update. We take suggestions so if you ask we might not torture him but if you ask we to we might. Let's just see. Comment plz.**


	2. Ch2: Of Show Boating and Karaoke

WARNING: HALF OF THIS CHAPTER HATEING FANG AND THE OTHER HALF IN FOR THE FANGURLS!!! THE FIRST HALF IS ABUSE! I LOVE U ALL!!!

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.CORN.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Rachel- HEY! Today it's not just me and Jenny! We brought a special guest!...

TERRA! She beith our buhday.

Idiote translator- Her name is Terra and she is our close companion.

Terra- What's up my home skittle biscuits?!

Audience-…

Jenny- Well then! Today we have with us FANG!

*Fang appears*

Fang-Where am I?

Rachel- Wow you're calm.

Fang-…

Terra- Well Fang you're about to say more than you've ever said before!

Fang-…

Rachel- Terra ask the question! The silence is scaring me!

Terra- OK! Umm. If you were born without emotions how can you looooooove Max and therefore how can you love the whole flock?

Fang- Dunno.

Jenny-…

Terra-..

Rachel-…

Jenny- I'm afraid.

Terra- *slaps Fang*

Terra- What's wrong with you?! How's that for a question?! How could you split the flock?! You broke up the flock in book 3 you little emo!!!

Rachel- Me and Jenny are great supporters of the fact that Fang is not emo but we do agree that he deserved that.

Jenny- Tis true.

Fang- I had to! She let in Ari!

*Everyone beats on Fang mercilessly for 20 minutes strait until he cries*

Jenny- Finally! God I thought you would never cry!

Rachel- Why on earth should you care if she let him in?! It's not his fault he was just a little kid who had a short life left and was used by his own father! He was Max's half brother!! You bad kisser!!!

Fang – What?

Jenny- Oh Max says you're a terrible terrible terribly awful kisser.

Fang- O.o

Terra- Yay! He showed emotion!

Rachel- FIESTA!!!

Jenny- Ok next question: Have you ever snorted wasabi?

Fang- What the hell?! WHITCH CRACK HEAD ASKED THAT?!

Terra- *skeptical cough* defensive!

Fang- I heard that!

Jenny- Calm down, little wasabi snorter.

Fang- WHAT?!

Rachel- *bashes Fang over the head with a pan until he's unconscious*

Rachel-…

Terra-…

Jenny-…

Terra- Must have been the wasabi.

Rachel- Crap! Now he can't answer our questions!

Jenny- *snaps fingers. Fang wakes up*

Fang- Wa-… Wa happened…

Terra- Uh UH nothing!

Jenny- Now that Fang has been well abused it's time to welcome our fangirl… StalkerOfFang!!!!!

-StalkerOfFang comes in. Grins and waves-

Audience-Cheers-

Rachel- StalkerOfFang is a big fan of fax, and Fang! Today we have her here to ask Fang her question since SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO ASKED A QUESTION!!!

Fang- O NO IT'S HER!!! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!! *rakes hands helplessly across wall*

StalkerOfFang-Sweetly- Fang we've covered this. There is no escape.

Jenny- Yeah that's an expensive wall!

Fang- *sigh* Just ask it.

StalkerOfFang- Would u ever date a cheese-covered echidna?

Fang- *Pulls random cheese-covered echidna out of pocket and cuddles to face* HOW DID U KNOW ABOUT US?!?!

Jenny-…

Rachel-…

Terra-…

StalkerOfFang- XD I KNEW IT! *Does touchdown dance*

Totally Random Coach- Danmit SOF no show boating!!!

Jenny- *Waves broom at coach* Go leave Get!!!

Totally Random Coach- *squeaks and runs away*

Jenny- I swear this place is infested with random people! We need an exterminator!

Totally Random Exterminator-grins- Like me!!!

Fang- *Throws exterminator off stage*

StalkerOfFang- COOL!!

Terra- *examines fingernails* Yup we that stuff all the time.

Rachel- Correction! Jenny and I do. U don't.

Terra- Well at least I can sing!

Rachel- What does that have to do with anythi-

SOF- Oh! Me too!!

Jenny- Well I'm the best!

Totally random coach- NO ME!!!

Totally Random Exterminator- NO ME!!!

Rachel- NO ME!!!

Audience- US!

SOF- Karaoke Contest!!!

All- YEAH!!!

Jenny*snaps fingers and karaoke machine materializes*

And so it begins…


	3. Ch3: Of Chip, Dale and Sushi

**Dr. Disclaimer- Sigh- I'm afraid Jenny's totally mental. She thinks she owns Maximum Ride but in fact she does not.**

_**~.~.~.~.~.~.~.CORN~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**_

Jenny- TODAY IS THE BEST FRIGGIN DAY EVER!!!

Rachel- IGGY'S COMING!!!!!

Audience Member #17- EVERYBODY GET DOWN! IT'S TO DANGEROUSE!

Audience-*gets down*

Jenny- No! He isn't here right now.

Audience- *sighs in relief*

Rachel- Ah. But he _will _be.

Jenny– So without further uh… What's the word?

Rachel- Ado.

Jenny- No, no I mean what's the word for those oval pastries?

Rachel- Oh, Éclairs.

Jenny-Thanks. So here's Iggy.

-Iggy appears-

Iggy- Huh? What? *Smiles* Oh Yay! I love interrogations! Of course I've only been in them once. Everyone loves Fang! *Shakes fist in the air* Damn all you Fang fangirls!

Rachel- Huh? Your blind, how did you know it was an interrogation?

Iggy- I just do.

Jenny*wipes tear from eye stands up from seat and claps*

Rachel- Don't mind her, she thinks everything you say is a master piece.

Iggy- …

Rachel- Yeah, and I sorta do too…

Jenny- Dude you know we worship you… But! If you disobey than we won't hesitate to call Henry on you.

- Henry is off set staring at Iggy, pulls skull out of pocket and crushes-

Iggy- What just happened?

Rachel- Oh, Henry just crushed some dead dude's skull menacingly at you.

Iggy- Ah.

Jenny- ALRIGHTY THEN. Time for some Qs and As.

Rachel- YAY!

Jenny- Sarcastic4159 asks 2 questions. #1 In most of you're different fan fictions ur usually with Nudge or Ella. Who in you're opinion do u like more??

Iggy- Well I hardly know Ella… but Nudge always steals my hidden stash of Twinkies sooo- No wait she let me borrow her hat last week when it was really hot out an-

Jenny- TODAY IGGY!

Iggy- Ok Jeez! Nudge is like my lil-sister. Ella's ok nice and what not and she doesn't steal Twinkies… Or does she?! MY LIFE IS A LIE!!! *Curls in fetal position and rocks back and forth*

Rachel- OOOOK! Question 2 also from Sarcastic4159. Where do u hide ur bombs where Max won't find 'em.

Iggy- The bottoms of my socks, the waist band of my underwear my-

Rachel- OKK!!! THAT'S ENOUGH IGGY!! That's good.

Jenny- Isn't that kinda unsafe? Like u could activate the bomb it in you're sock when your walking or-

Iggy- What is this 'safety' you speak of???

Rachel- *sigh* Lets just move on…

Jenny- Ok. What would you do if you woke up one day and you noticed that Max wasn't there and when you asked where she was everyone just stared at you like you were a purple hippopotamus wearing a puke green and yellow tutu and asked you who in the eleven Max was? Oh, and Angel's the leader.

Iggy- I think I'd jump off a cliff.

Rachel- But you have wings.

Iggy- Then I'd drown myself.

Jenny- Jeez you'd go that far?

Iggy- Yep.

Rachel- You'd best hope Angel doesn't read this. She'd do some creepy stuff to you if she found out.

Iggy- *Rolls eyes* Next question.

Rachel- Oh oh! Me next!! Ok. If you suddenly woke up in a tank filled with watermelon seeds in a cement room with no windows or doors and the only other thing in the room was a cubical table and a banana what would you do?

Iggy- I'd slap the angry dinosaur and set fire to Brad Pitt's mansion in Peru.

Jenny- He has a mansion there?

Iggy- Who doesn't?

Rachel- Well anyway WRONG ANSWER!!! You were SUPPOSED to say 'declare my love of éclairs and slap Wang Chung'.

Iggy- Cause THAT'S the most obvious thing to do.

Rachel- I know, right?

Jenny- Ok next question! Why are you and Fang soooooo sexist!?

Iggy- We're not sexist we just like really hot girls, and don't care if anyone sees us starring at them.

Rachel-…

Jenny-…

Iggy- What?

Jenny- O…k… next question—

Rachel- *Interrupts* I wanna do it!! Ok, Iggy. Listen very closely.

Iggy- Alright….

Rachel- Ok. Choose one, and ONLY ONE, DO YOU HEAR!??!?!?!?! Ok, here it comes: Would you rather…

Iggy- Yes…

Rachel- …Spend the day…

Iggy- Yes!?

Rachel-….

Iggy and Jenny- WHAT!?!? WHAT IS IT!?!??!?!

Rachel- Would you rather spend the day with Chip or Dale?

Iggy- That's it?

Rachel- 'Daaaaaas right!

Iggy- Well that's just dumb!

Jenny- We'll get Henry!

Audience- YAY!

Iggy- Okay, okay!

Audience- Awww!

Iggy- I'd rather…

Jenny and Rachel- Yes…

Iggy- …Spend the day…

Jenny and Rachel- Yes!?

Iggy-…With…

Jenny and Rachel- WHAT!?!?!?!?!?

Iggy- Neither.

Jenny- =O

Rachel- =O

Iggy- 'Daaaaaas right!

Jenny- But that's not even an answer!

Rachel- Yeah! Remember? I said ONE OR THE OTHER!!!!

Iggy- You have got to be kidding me. I grew up IN A CAGE. I have no freaking clue who in the hell Chip and Dale are.

Jenny- He has got a point.

Rachel- He's got NO point!

*Rachel lunges to attack Iggy but is stopped by Jenny*

Jenny- Leave him alone Rachel!! You know Arkarian would never forgive us if we hurt one of the Flock!

Iggy- What?

Jenny and Rachel- NOTHING!!!!!!!!

Jenny- Ok. Rachel, if you promise not to attack Iggy we'll be able to move on with to the last question.

Rachel- Looks down and scuffs shoe on floor- Ok.

Jenny- Alright, final question; what in the burning pits of Hades IS that blasted ship Niggy?

Rachel- *Shudders*

Iggy- What… *ponders*

Iggy- *Realizes* EEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S DISGUSTING, MAN!!! I MEAN, COME ON!!!! SHE'S FRICKING ELEVEN!!!!!

Jenny- *Pats Iggy's shoulder* I know, I know.

*Iggy continues ranting until silently knocked out by Rachel, a rag, and a little Chlorophorm*

Jenny- Uh… OK!!! I guess that's all for today, folks!

Rachel- Yeah!

-Sushi guy appears-

Sushi guy- Hey, some one ordered some sushi and—

*Is rampaged by Jenny and Rachel*

Jenny- SUSHI!!!!!

Rachel- Come on, Henry! Have some sushi with us!

Henry- EW no! I don't want worms!

Iggy*Wakes up* I do!!!

Jenny-…

Rachel- Disregarding that…

Jenny- LET US DANCE!!

*Snaps fingers and karaoke machine materializes*

*Everyone dances*

_**~.~.~.~.~.~.~CORN~.~.~.~.~.~.~**_

**By the way if ur wondering who one the karaoke contest yesterday, It was a tie between StockerOfFang and The random Exterminator.**

**The next 1 has angel in it. Sorry u didn't get to b in the show Sarcasm4159. If you want I can put u in the next 1. Just review and say yes or no. By the way a message –warning- to all. The next 1 has angel in it.**


	4. Ch4: Of 7 Days and ipod Warriors

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride, Adam Sadler, Fat Albert, Oliver Twist, ipod/ipod commercials, The Soup, Twilight, Mind Freak, or James Patterson and his many sub-plots**

_**~.~.~.~.~.~.~.CORN~.~.~.~.~.~.~**_

Jenny- Hey hey hey it's Rachel and Jenny!

Rachel- Today we started with a quote from fat Albert to comfort you…

- Jenny pulls out hot chocolate and marshmallows on a tray next to a fluffy teddy bear-

Rachel- Hey you took that from The Soup.

Jenny- I don't watch The Soup.

Rachel- …

Jenny- …

Rachel- Weird.

Jenny- Back to the matter at hand.

Rachel- Right!

- Looks to audience-

Rachel- Don't be afraid but…

Jenny- Angel's coming!

Audience- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

- Somewhere in the audience 2 babies and 3 grown men cry-

Rachel- It's ok. It's fine! IT'S FINE!

-Audience shuts up-

Jenny- I know she's like really creepy.

Rachel- She takes like all the good powers. Just because she's cute!!!

Jenny- Poor Gazzy. All he has is super poots and mimicry.

Rachel- Any way –gulp- here's Angel.

- Angel appears –

Angle- SEVEN DAYS!!!

- Jenny beings silently sobbing and stickin' to Rachel like static cling-

- Rachel detaches-

Rachel- Angel stop it!!

- Angel stares out into space-

Angel- I shall answer your questions.

Jenny-…

Rachel-…

Audience-…

Angel- OOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOoooooo Be Afraaaaaaaaaaaid! Afraaaaaaaaaaaid!

-Jenny Picks teddy bear up from tray and cuddles-

Rachel- It's ok just ask the questions Jenny…

Jenny- Question uno: If you suddenly woke up in a tank filled with watermelon seeds in a cement room with no windows or doors and the only other thing in the room was a cubical table and a banana what would you do?

Angel- Your mind is telling me that the correct answer is declaring my love for éclairs and slap Wang Chung… And Rachel is repeating elephant in her mind numerous times.

Rachel- That's how I protect my head from people like YOU!!!!

Jenny-…

Audience-…

Angel- OOOOOOooooooooOOOO!!!

-Rachel slaps Angel and is mysteriously tossed across the room by an unknown force-

Jenny- O.o

Angel- XD

Rachel- What….

Angel- MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

- Jenny pulls audients member out of crowd and uses as human shield-

Human shield- AH! HELP! SHE'S GONA MAKE ME BUY HER A TEDDY BEAR!!! TWENY NINTY FIVE!!!! THEY CAUST TWENTY NINTY FIIIIIVE!!!!

Rachel- Wait a minuto! This is no ordinary human shield! This is Sarcastic4159!!!

Human Shield now known as Sarcastic4159- YEAH! LEMME GO PHYCOPATH!!

Jenny- BUT I _NEED_ PROTECTION!! –Drops Sarcastic. Grabs another random member of audience-

Sarcastic4159- _Thank you._

Rachel- So Sarcastic4159 whose name I don't know because I'm to lazy to check your profile… What's on your mind?

Sarcastic4159- Well I was really bored, just watchin' TV and I heard that Angel was in this chapter and then I saw some shady looking guy outside sellin' tickets. Mind Freak came on the T.V and I was like 'Angel, Mind freak? Angel, Mind freak?' And I chose Angel.

Jenny-glares- So… Where was this 'Shady looking guy'?

Sarcastic4159- Uh… Down in front of Publix I think.

Jenny- Thanks. OH HERNY!!

Henry- Yeah.

Jenny-whispers in his ear-

Henry- nods and leaves. Sound of car driving away-

Rachel- Uh… what was that?

Jenny- Oh nothing. Nothing…

Rachel- O…k. Well um Sarcastic. Any questions? How are you-

Angel- twitch, twitch- I'm. Adorable! Heh heh! I'M ADORABLE!!!!!! ATTENTION! _**ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!**_

Jenny-…

Sarcastic who will now be referred to as Sar-…

Rachel-…

Henry- Comes back with shady looking guy- Hey I got- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! -Is flung across room by invisible force a' drops shady guy-

Angel-looks at Shady Dude- attention…-twitch-

Shady guy- O-Ok – hood falls back-

Jenny- Dear god…

Rachel- It's…IT'S…!!

Sar- THE SUBWAY TUNNEL COMPUTER GUY!!!

STCG (Subway Tunnel Computer Guy) - How do you know my name?! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Rachel- That's your _real _name?

STCG- THERE ON TO ME!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! –Runs away screeching-

Rachel-…

Jenny-…

Sar-…

Angel-OOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!

Jenny- Rachel. I'm afraid.

Rachel*pats on back*It's ok Jenny. Well move on with this. Question # 2: Why do you find out all this stuff via reading minds but never tell anyone?

Angel*sigh* I wish I could but James Patterson comes up with many last minute ideas… Mostly subplots.

Rachel- DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED!

Jenny- There are to many sub-plots. Most of them show up then are forgotten or severely altered.

Rachel- The mutated kids at NY.

Jenny- The whole thing about Max looking in the mirror.

Rachel- The chip in Maxes arm.

Jenny- The theory that none of that stuff ever happens and they were all asleep at the school.

Rachel- Jebs transfer from good to bad to good again.

Jenny- Maxes hair color changing from brown, to blond, and wavy to strait.

Rachel- Fangs wing color from purplish black to brown to black.

Jenny- Ari loving Max.

Rachel- Max turning from a bad ass leader into a weenie.

Sar- OK!!! Jeez I get it.

Angel- I don't.

Audience Member #45- Me either.

Edward Cullen-I too sympathies the way this confuses you mortals.

Everyone- Edward Cullen!

Edward Cullen -crooked smile- Stay in school kids! –Jumps out window-

Sar-*Catches* OH NO!!! Ur paying for that window sunny.

Edward Cullen-Puffs out cheeks- Cannon Balls!

Esma- Young man your in a lot of trouble! –Grabs Edwards ear-

Edward- OW OW OW!!!

-Edward and Esma leave-

Rachel-…

Jenny-…

Sar-…

Audience-…

Angel-…

Adam Sander-… THAT WAS SO COOL!

Oliver Twist- Why am I here…

Jenny- Because were off topic. That means the shows ova.

Angel- Attention!!!! AAAATTTENTIONNNNNNNN!

Sar- EVERYBODIE TO THE BUNKER!!!

*All go into bunker but Sar*

Sar- Gimmie a hand Jenny.

Jenny- *Snaps fingers from inside cramped bunker. ipod appears in Sar hand*

-Back round changes into changing blue like an ipod commercial. Sarcastic whole body and the karaoke machine turn black like in an ipod commercial-

Sar- *taps foot* -Background music starts playing Viva la Vida. Sarcastic dances rapidly-

Angel- NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO! Nooooooooooooo! No-NA!...no *falls asleep like the little girl she is*

Everyone- ALL HAIL SARCASTIC! SLAYER OF ANGEL THE WEIRDO!!!

-Silence. Someone clapping. Everyone looks to see where it's coming from-

StalkerOfFang- *Clap Clap* You have won this round Sar. But I will be back… for a dance off. But for now… SHIA KAZING!

–POOF! StalkerOfFang disappears-

_**~.~.~.~.~.~.~.CORN~.~.~.~.~.~.~**_

**Will StalkerOfFang return?**

**Will Oliver Twist ever be significant?**

**What on earth is wrong with STCG?**

**Find out in the next episode staring The 2 neglected children Nudge and Gazzy.**

**Ask a question and you may just be in the next episode. In fact I can almost guarantee you will.**


	5. Ch5: Of Chloroform and Monty Python

Jenny- The anniversary of this fic was 9 days ago yay!

*confetti bursts out of ceiling*

Jenny's conscience- You haven't updated in forever! People probable thought you died! Nag nag nag!

Rachel- Wow, you have a conscience?

Jenny- *shrug* I'm just as shocked as you are. OH HENERY!

Henry- *ties up Jenny's conscience and throws her in a randomly placed closet*

Rachel- Today were going to have one of our dear readers help us out…

MKayx3!!!!

Audience- YAYZ!

Mkayx3 (henceforth known as K3)- *enters stage, waves* Hi mommy! Hi Edward, honey! *blows kiss*

Back at The Cullen House

Edward Fangirls- That freaking cheater! D':

Bella- Do I even exist anymore?!

Edward- Sure Belle, not be quiet! I'm trying to watch my girlfriend on this show! *turns up volume*

Bella- *sob* My names Bella!

Edward- Quiet Belle! TV!

Back at the studio

Jenny- I'm having K3 on the show tonight-or whenever you're reading this- because she has the same views on the environmental stuff as we do! :D

Rachel- Ugh! Can we get Gazzy and Nudge on yet?! They don't want to here about us!

Jenny- Fine! *snaps fingers*

*Gazzy and Nudge fall through ceiling and are tied up by Henry*

Gazzy- Why are we tied up?!

Rachel- Standard procedure Gazzy, just standard.

Jenny-Because we both know what happened to Sara.

Rachel-Ah yes. Poor Sara…

K3- Whose Sara?

Rachel- No one, no one. Just a memory now. *whipes away tear*

K3- O.o

Jenny- There will be no expressing feeling through faces on this show/fic!

Rachel- But you already did that once!

Jenny- Shaddup! Let's get to the questions! First q-

K3- I wanna do it! Ok, first question! To Gazzy, From Zee Frostfeather:  
If you had to have the voice of one celebrity for the rest of your life, who would you choose?

Gazzy- Brad Pit. So I could call the cops and tell them that I didn't burn down his mansion in Peru. They're looking for me you know.

Jenny- How could they ever find you though? There have to be a million blond haired blue eyed little boys with tall strawberry blond companions out there.

Gazzy- But not many can fly.

Rachel- You flew from the scene?

Gazzy- Maybe… but that's not the point.

K3- Than what is the point?

Gazzy-*death glare* Let's just get back to the plot ok?

Rachel- You're not Angel! You can't make us-

Plot- Listen to him! You've strayed away from me darn you! Get back here and ask questions!

Rachel- *grumbling* fine…

Jenny- Nudge, Zee Frostfeather again asks: well,he actually-

Zee Frostfeather- *pops out of nowhere and talks really fast* Ohmygosh your so cool! I wish I could hack computers. and attract metal. Then I wouldn't have to bend down to get my pencil, and I could play Yo-Yo, and I could fix the lock on my locker and *gets chloroformed by Rachel* Mph!!!

Rachel- Holy crap that was scary! OH HENERY!

Henry- *ties up an unconscious Zee*

Jenny- Crap! Now were stuck with her for the rest of the chapter...

Rachel-Gosh darnet! That's just freaking fantastic! We have a crazy little tween girl in here!... *realizes* Jenny, we chloroformed a tween! Where going to jail! Crap!

Jenny- And she has wings! Gah! Wings Rachel! Why?!

Nudge- Um, I'm a little tween girl with wings…

Rachel- But no one cares about you.

Nudge- *Sob*

Rachel- Next question!

Jenny- It's-

K3- No! My turn! … Nudge…*pulls out doll and holds out to Nudge* Where did she hit you?

Nudge- …what?

Jenny- It's ok Nudge, you are the least favorite, you and Gazzy are. Max must hit you.

Gazzy- What are you even talking about?

Nudge- It's ok Gazzy. *sniffle* se hits me… here *points with nose since she's tied up to ankle*

Jenny- *shakes Nudge* Oh god the humanity! When will it end?!

Nudge- *shakes head* god only knows.

Gazzy- *whispers* what are you doing? Max doesn't hit us?"

Nudge- *whispering also* if we play along these lunatics will let us go.

Jenny- No conspiring!

K3- Isn't this kinda weird? We're making jokes about children being beaten, even if it is in the ankle.

Rachel- It's ok though, because life's a piece of shit. When you look at it, lifes a laugh and deaths a joke it's true.

Jenny- You'll see it's all a show keep um laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you…and~

Jenny's Conscience- Always look on the bright side of life!

Henry- *whistling* fe few fe few fe few fe few

K3- Always look on the right side of life!

Henery- fe few fe few fe few fe few fe few

Jenny- Come on Zee get up!

Zee- Always look on the bright side of life!

Henery- fe few fe few fe few fe few fe few

Nudge- Always look on the bright side of life!

You and Henery- fe few fe few fe few fe few fe few

Gazzy- Always look on he bright side of life!

Jenny- Worse things happen at sea you know!

Audience- Always look on the right side of life!

Rachel- I mean ,what have you go to lose? You come from nothing, -you're go back to nothing,what are you gonna lose? Nothing!

Audience- Always look on the bright side of life! Fe few fe few fe few fe few fe few!

Jenny- Nothing will some from nothing, you know what they say? Cheer up ya old bugger! Give us a grin!

K3- *is afraid forlfe but rins anyway*

Rachel- There ya are!

*continues until song fades*

Edward- Well that was weird! Poor K3! She's probably so freaked out! I'm gonna buy her some chocolates and flowers to make her happy! Bye Belle!

Bella- *sob*

Back stage after the show/fic

StalkerOfFang- What about the whole ipod thing?!

Sarcastic4159- Yeah! What about it?!

StalkerOfFang- Don't repeat everything I say!

Sarcastic4159- Don't blah reapeat blah! Pttttttttttttt!

StalkerOfFang- *death glare*

Jenny- Sorry, I'll put it in the next chapter.

StalkerOfFang- Not good enough! *Picks up baseball bat*

Sarcastic4159- *picks up lead pipe*

Jenny- Crap!

Zee- *fly's up to Jenny*

Jenny- Oh thank god you're here! Save me!

Zee- You chloroformed me… *fly's away*

Rachel- *Walks past Jenny*

Jenny- *Grabs Rachel's collar* help me Rachel!

Rachel- Sorry, there have jelly donuts backstage to celebrate the belated anniversary of this fic. I'm getting there before Henry does! *runs off*

K3- *Pulls up* Get in the Volvo!

Jenny- *gets in the Volvo*


End file.
